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At first she didn’t realize her therapist was also gay, but it turns out she’s been with her same partner now for 40 years – a number that Debbie couldn’t help but openly marvel at. It’s an everyday struggle to choose self-love.”Īnd speaking of ongoing struggles to care for yourself in the best light, Debbie Millman credits her therapist with saving her life. Debbie feels me, “the more we choose to be ourselves, to be who we are, the happier we are. However, that project never ends and isn’t easy. “Every day I tell myself that I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be loved, I deserve to have a hot girlfriend,” she said.
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Truly, we never stood a chance.Ī guest in the audience asked Roxane for tips on how to keep choosing your own self-worth when the world insists you make yourself smaller because of your race, your gender, your size, your sexuality. Both have voices that would make the even most staunch NPR listener weep. (The nerd in me has to let you know that Roxane Gay spoke a bit about her tenure writing the gay Dora Milaje Black Panther comics spin-off World of Wakanda to a near standing ovation from every black lesbian, bisexual, and queer person in the room.) They are, as you might have imagined, unbearably funny and cool.
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Gay came to be interviewed by her girlfriend Debbie Millman, the lesbian writer, curator, artist and beloved podcast host of “Design Matters.” Millman fielded conversation topics from attendees and together they talked about a full range of issues – how to keep your creative flame lit, navigating an interracial relationship, and the current state of fat body positivity in pop culture. Up until that very moment, I was 100% certain that the idea of Roxane Gay coming to A-Camp was fake. She stood casually against the mosquito netting outside the dining hall while we piled our plates high on the hotly-anticipated Falafel Night. This year bisexual badass New York Times best-selling writer, professor, and editor Roxane Gay was camp’s featured guest. She descended into our madness during the dinner hour. Murmurs passed from table to table as people realized she was among us – like the wave cheer thingy that straight people do at football games, but in reverse.
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A bunch of us hosted a pool party for QTPOC where we rapped in unison every word of Nicki Minaj’s verse on Big Sean’s “A$$ (remix)” and sang Queen Bey’s update of “Before I Let Go” while the sun kissed our melanin. We made dildos out of clay for “Arts and Crafts” and played Quidditch out on the main field. This is probably one of the few times where brazen is an understatement.
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It’s a six day retreat that’s also a brazen reclamation and celebration of queerness.